Ten Minus Five

sublou: the-internet-addict: thedoctorandgallifrey: barrett-the-babe: charile: i hope you hit...

Fri, 08 Feb 2013 10:33:19 -0500

the-internet-addict:

thedoctorandgallifrey:

barrett-the-babe:

charile:

i hope you hit post limit

I hope your gravestone is in comic sans

I hope instead of going to hell you go to 4Chan

I hope half of your otp dies

you just went a bit too far

So is Thought Catalog gonna grow up with me? Like will I be 43 and get all kinds of articles about...

Tue, 08 Jan 2013 12:36:05 -0500

So is Thought Catalog gonna grow up with me? Like will I be 43 and get all kinds of articles about “How to de-stress when you’re a divorced black woman your 40’s”? Or are they just gonna rotate columnists?

nevver: “I’ve been homesick for countries I’ve never been, and...

Fri, 27 Jul 2012 14:36:25 -0400

nevver:

“I’ve been homesick for countries I’ve never been, and longed to be where I couldn’t be.” ― John Cheever

I'm Addicted to PLL in a sad way

Thu, 26 Jul 2012 12:38:15 -0400

Me: Watching this episode of Pretty Liars is making me think I like dumb shit. I should probably stop.
KP: Don't you dare! PLL is okay to like.
Me: Used to be. I'm getting sick of these girls acting like they don't have a whole entire crime to solve. Bang your boyfriend later!
Me: Like I am genuinely scared for you and you are lolly gagging in bed with your boyfriend all day?
KP: Don't be hating because they have someone to lolly gag with.
Me: When one of them is dead in the gutter we will all be singing a different tune.
KP: Perhaps you are a tad over-involved...
Me: One of us has to be.
KP: By one of us I hope you mean you and me and not them.
Me: Take it how you will

phiLOLZophy: Five Philosophical Lessons as Illustrated by the Divorce of Tom Cruise

Thu, 12 Jul 2012 11:26:31 -0400

phiLOLZophy: Five Philosophical Lessons as Illustrated by the Divorce of Tom Cruise:

philolzophy:

1. “It is better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a pig satisfied.” John Stuart Mill said this to illustrate that it’s better to indulge in high order thinking with an open mind but not have a totally cakewalk life than it is to have all of your basic needs fulfilled but no mental…

5 Insulting Comments I Have After Watching a Few...

Wed, 04 Jul 2012 10:36:00 -0400

5 Insulting Comments I Have After Watching a Few 98° Videos

Special thanks to Stephanie Georgopulos for the Thought Catalog Article that left me watching an endless strand of 98° videos. What would the world be without YouTube? Okay, real quick!

1. Did that one who looks like he runs a hoagie shop seriously get a 98° tattoo like permanently on his body? You really wanted a constant reminder that you were in a bottom shelf late 90’s boy band?

2. I’ve asked before, I’ll ask again. Why did Nick Lachey wear lip gloss?

3. I’ve always been suspicious of boy bands with four members. It’s like you aren’t good enough for a 5th person to want to join you and you aren’t smart enough to cut one. Seriously 98°? You couldn’t go on without the mousy looking guy. No one ever even let him sing. He was to 98° what Michelle was to Destiny’s Child.

4. Oh God the video concepts? Someone was sleeping on the job, because Golden Gate Bridge? “Lets have the guys go stand on top of a bridge and look really uncomfortable.” Legit, it’s almost as bad as the time they stood on a Mayan pyramid and looked uncomfortable.

5. Not to harp on looks, but Nick Lachey carried the group in sexy. The sandwich shop guy is mildly attractive, but he looks like half of the guys I went to school with. I could pick one of those up on $2 Bud Light night.

originalhrhment: The life. (Taken with instagram)

Fri, 13 Apr 2012 11:57:53 -0400

originalhrhment:

The life. (Taken with instagram)

fatwasandfanboys: I. To love a woman is to see all the ways in which she is more than metaphor or...

Wed, 11 Apr 2012 21:15:34 -0400

fatwasandfanboys:

I. To love a woman is to see all the ways in which she is more than metaphor or silhouette.

II. To love a woman is to call her with an open palm, not with your index finger.

loveandmemories: definitely!

Tue, 03 Apr 2012 23:18:07 -0400

loveandmemories:

definitely!

Ugh. Appropriate.

Fri, 16 Mar 2012 15:36:47 -0400

Ugh. Appropriate.

Who The Eff Is One Direction?

Fri, 16 Mar 2012 15:19:54 -0400

The US is abuzz about One Direction this week. I’m not going to lie and pretend I looked into why. I assume the band is releasing their album in the US this week or something. Since it seems I’m the only person on the planet who thought One Direction was the show choir on Glee until this week, I won’t go into detail on who they are. These were five general thoughts I had after watching the video for “What Makes You Beautiful” and reading the introduction paragraph on their Wikipedia page.

1. Are You Kidding Me? My first response was the same as any 20 something trying to cling to their last shred of self respect. What is this? Why is the first line of this song, “you’re insecure”? What’s going on? Then I took a deep breath and remembered I’m not a member of the target audience.

2. Is This What The Backstreet Boys Sounded Like? I then reminded myself that I still listen to O-Town. Is this what N’Sync sounded like to adults? Am I forever under a curse where when I hear a 98 Degrees song, I won’t acknowledge what garbage it is?

3. Good For You Middle School Girls! Once I hit phase 3, I became happy for little girls all over the world. Once I thought hard about all of the boy bands of my childhood, I realized what kids have been missing out on. Boy bands have been scarce since I was a young one. There was that brief Jonas Brothers phase, but aside from that nothing quality (don’t even talk to me about Big Time Rush). I’m glad my little sister can obsess over five dudes dancing on a beach the way I did when I was her age.

4. Poor Guys From One Direction! At this point I’m deep in thought about Boy Bands. The next logical thing happens, former love of my life A.J. McLean springs to mind. That’s when I started to pity the boys from O.D. Because the tale is as old as time from what I can tell. Five attractive, talented dudes all in their late teens. We can assume that they all want to pursue a solo career at some point. Maybe not. Maybe they’ll wanna stay together, but seem a bit more edgy. The Mileys of the entertainment industry have shown us how hard that can be. I’d say One Direction is the next big shit, but I’m behind. One Direction is the current big shit. And from what I’ve observed, being big shit can suck.

5. Lemme Just Download This Song. After I finished rolling this over in my head I’d listened to the song on YouTube 5 times (with a small break to listen to S.O.S). I like this song and I’m going to download it. I could lie and say it’s because it reminds me of my youth, but I dabble in Bieber so why mask my true feelings? I apologize in advance to anyone who rides in my car for the next week.

safyhallanfarah: My demographic is the ‘levels lazy criticism at the choir while eating pizza’...

Tue, 13 Mar 2012 11:43:37 -0400

safyhallanfarah:

My demographic is the ‘levels lazy criticism at the choir while eating pizza’ demographic.

They did that Disney Princess/Real Housewives thing on an episode of So Random before so…

Sun, 04 Mar 2012 17:28:16 -0500

They did that Disney Princess/Real Housewives thing on an episode of So Random before so…

tastefullyoffensive: [via]

Mon, 27 Feb 2012 20:59:02 -0500

tastefullyoffensive:

[via]

Five Artists I Just CANNOT With

Mon, 27 Feb 2012 20:12:19 -0500

I’ve tried. I have really tried. I don’t get it.

1. Adele I will give it to Adele, that she is a brilliant songwriter. I just never want to hear her sing her songs. “What are you talking about Adele has such a beautiful voice?” I get that all of the time and I disagree. Adele has a powerful voice, but sheesh I’m not trying to hear it mixed in with my Top 40 all of the time. I think that’s my problem for the most part. Back in my day we got to choose whether we wanted to listen to artists like Adele. Top 40 was filled with talentless pop artists and music you wanted to dance to. I don’t care how many dance mixes you make to “Rolling In the Deep” I don’t wanna hear it. I digress. I listened to 21, I thought it was lackluster*. Rant over.

I’ll admit, this one is on my iPod: Not even gonna lie, I love “Hometown Glory”. Always have and always will.

2. Lana Del Rey Lana Del Rey is NOT Adele. “Lana Del Rey isn’t even trying to be Adele, idiot.” Yes, I know Lana Del Rey and Adele are not comparable artists. What I mean is Lana Del Rey is not a brilliant song writer and her voice is not powerful. It’s just awkwardly deep, and not even in a sexy way. Her voice is deep in an “is your refrigerator running” kind of way. Maybe someone needs to sit me down and hold my hand lyric for lyric, because I listened to Born To Die and I don’t find it exceptionally profound. Just makes me want to eat a popsicle and take a nap.

I’ll admit, this one is on my iPod: I will not deny “Off To The Races“ the props it deserves for that catchy hook. It’s a lot of fun.

3. Bon Iver At this point it seems that I don’t even like good music. I’ll give good ‘ol Bonny Bear this, I’m usually not into his type of indie/folk. I mean I indie/folk with the best of ‘em, but dude with guitar and odd echo on his voice has never been my jam. I don’t think he’s bad. Just not into it. Love his new Grammy nickname though. Bonny Bear.

I’ll admit, this one is on my iPod: They all thought I was gonna say “Holocene”, but I’d rather listen to Born To Die again. “Perth” is so good.

4. Jessie J Does anyone else get irrationally angry when that price tag song comes on? I hated that song, but during the summer of the price tag I was informed by a friend that she was the woman behind “Sexy Silk”. So I stopped saying I hated Jessie J. I ignored the fact that she sat on a couch during the VMAs, singing songs I didn’t even want to hear by the original artists. I didn’t tweet about her boot. Months pass and I find out that Jessie J is responsible for Party in the USA. I love Miley, so I gave Who You Are a shot. I wish I hadn’t.

I’ll admit, this one is on my iPod: “Domino” Adele getting all deep on my radio takes attention from pop gems like “Domino”. I hate to sound like this is all I want in a song, but it’s so fun. Did anyone else think this was Katy Perry the first time you heard it?**

5. Bruno Mars I don’t even feel the need to go into detail. This man legit wrote a song about nothing and got nominated for a Grammy.

I’ll admit, this one is on my iPod: This is a double blow to my image (what image?), but I love that Twilight song. “It Will Rain” was probably my most played song in December.

*To be fair, an album about my 21st year would sound JUST like Cannibal by Ke$ha.

**Is anyone just realizing that isn’t a Katy Perry song?

Five Things I Have Low Tolerance For

Mon, 27 Feb 2012 19:12:37 -0500

1. The radio version of You & I by Lady Gaga There aren’t many songs I enjoy on Born This Way. I do however enjoy You & I. So imagine my disappointment when my listening experience is destroyed by Q102 or whatever the fuck other radio station adds the name of their state in the place of Nebraska. WTH? It was one thing with New Jersey, because whatever. It’s Jersey. But when Philadelphia and Delaware hopped on? Too many syllables. I just can’t.

Why I can sorta handle it: The song doesn’t play often anymore. Whatevs.

2. People who don’t like Dr. Pepper There are 23 flavors in this beverage and you can’t get on board for one of them? Difficult bastard.

Why I can sorta handle it: More Dr. Pepper for me.

3. People who don’t strain their pasta You’d be surprised how often I encounter this (or maybe you’re a culprit and you wouldn’t be). What, you think that bowl has holes for no reason or do you just enjoy soggy noodles?

Why I can sorta handle it: Because I enjoy fun with pasta strainers, so I can do it if they don’t.

4. People who hate on Thought Catalog I’ve noticed that a ton of other more “mature” bloggers have been poking fun at Thought Catalog. They’ve called the bloggers whiny, hipsters, 20 somethings without real problems (I’m paraphrasing). My question is, why hate their grind? The blog is obviously resonating with a ton of people.

Why I can sorta handle it: After some reflection I realized I was offended because I always relate to TC and this pointed out how whiny I can be.

5. When dudes try to pick me up on the street Are you serious dude? You honestly thought that you could generate any form of relationship with me (sexual, romantic or platonic) by yelling “ayo miss, hold up!” on the street? Has that ever worked for anyone? Bless.

Why I can sorta handle it: Meh.

wellalright: weird how you could take all the photos on a celebrity’s phone and sell them for a ton...

Mon, 27 Feb 2012 17:53:49 -0500

wellalright:

weird how you could take all the photos on a celebrity’s phone and sell them for a ton of money or you could take all the photos on my phone and have a bunch of pictures of food i’ve eaten.

Or drinks I’ve consumed.

Five Very Vague Things I Want To Say To Five Different People

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 20:03:41 -0500

1. I don’t like you all that much.

2. I love you.

3. No.

4. Yeah, you are really REALLY gonna regret that one.

5. He’s obviously cheating on you. Get your head in the game.

Five Things I'm Thinking While Watching 3 Ninjas

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 19:45:00 -0500

Friday night of champions

1. Emily is BUSTED. I know that’s not nice, but she’s like a damsel right? Then she should be a hot 11 year old? 12 year old? How old are they?

2. Emily asks “what’s going on” a lot I swear, if you leave out every time she asks Rocky “what’s going on?” she only has 4 lines.

3. Schneider is one of the top villains from a children’s film He was always threatening to make organs and blood ooze out of people, or rip one out. I never saw him do it, but I believed him.

4. “Yeah little horsey, how bout some hay?” Laugh.

5. Colt was so about his business Seriously. Rocky is busy worrying about Emily’s vagina. Tum Tum is just sitting around destroying his dental health. Without Colt, who has no woman or other pleasure in life, grandpa would be dead somewhere.

coolthejets: Currently revisiting my childhood. You ready?

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 19:40:22 -0500

coolthejets:

Currently revisiting my childhood.

You ready?